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3 TIPS for BEST Communication with your Co-Parent!

Do you have a high conflict situation going with your co-parent? Here are three ideas.

Keep it in writing

One, keep it in writing. Everything that we do or that we’re talking about should be in writing so it can be verified. It’s amazing how people’s recollection changes once they’re in court or being interviewed by an investigator.

Keep it short

Two, keep it short. You don’t need to go on a diatribe about how you are right and he’s wrong. It doesn’t matter. You’re not winning the case in and email. Three sentences will probably do. Keep it short. Prioritize the relationship of the other parent with the child by keeping them informed.

Follow the Abraham Lincoln rule

And three, follow the Abraham Lincoln rule when dealing with anger and communication. Lincoln would regularly write a letter, and then put it in his desk drawer. And he’d wait 24 hours, pull it back out, and if he still felt the same way the next day, he would send it.

Mostly, though, he wouldn’t, because he was super pissed off when he wrote it. And that emotion doesn’t help. Remember, we need to keep our emotions down. We need to be rational. We’re prioritizing the child and the child’s best interest.

Keep the best interest of the child in mind

And the best interest of the child is not in you winning this argument in an email that will make you feel good for five minutes. Yet you’ll be regretting it for years if you say something dumb that is just off the cuff.

Everything we’re doing is about data. Keep the data and the focus. And what about the emotions? Keep those on the back burner. Follow Lincoln.

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Director of Criminal Litigation

Colorado Springs

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