I think it’s a fantastic idea for co-parents to check in with each other. Remember, you’re not looking for the animosity, the anger, the resentment. You’re checking in with each other about the development of your child, and that development can be social, emotional, or educational.
Questions to ask
Do you think she needs a tutor? Do you think that she’s socially adapting to our split or our divorce? Remember that if you’re checking in every couple of months, it gets easier.
It’s going to be easier because you’re going to watch your child grow, and you both are going to have different experiences with that. Of course you want your child to be able to enjoy both relationships. Yet the only way that you’re going to be able to do that is by communicating.
How DO you communicate?
Of course, communication is the buzzword that everyone talks about, but it’s super hard to do. But if you do it over and over again, you start practicing it, and you’re starting to do it in writing. You’re starting with simple statements and updates.
And then over time, as your child gets older and older, you’re going to be talking to other parents, or you’re going to be talking to others, for example to teachers and guidance counselors. At some point, you’re going to have to make this work from a communication standpoint. If you prioritize your child’s development, that’s going to become easier and easier as the animosity and resentment gets put in the rear-view mirror.